I feel we as humans are very quick to judge other people, whether it be how they look, who they are, who we think they are and so on.
I am guilty of this, I think we all are. And now with social media being the forefront on getting an insight into everyone’s personal lives it sends our judgment of others into overdrive.
But as I have mentioned before, Instagram seems to be the perfect platform to showcase that perfect life style that we all so desperately want to lead. We compare how we look, where we go, how our house should look, how we dress, how our dinner should be presented, how our children should be parented and so on. We sit back and take a look at our own Instagram and start to feel down on the fact that we haven’t posted any pictures of the perfect holiday in the Bahamas because let’s be honest most of us can’t afford to go. Or the fact that we haven’t had Avocado with a perfectly poached egg with Natural Sea Salt, perfectly cracked Pepper and the freshest Salmon we’ve ever seen for breakfast. We feel in competition to post this perfect poster picture that our life is amazing – we are happy all the fucking time – we have no bad days – it doesn’t exist in our life, well not according to our Instagram anyway and if it isn’t on our social media then of course that must be true.
I too have had many instagram moments where I have posted pictures of me beaming with a smile from ear to ear – no one would ever question my mental health, or the fact that I was crumbling right underneath that fake smile and Valencia filter.
Unfortunately it has just become a way of the world we now live in. We think we know a person inside and out because we follow them on social media, we share with them our birthdays, the birth of our children, the wedding days, the birthdays, the nights out. But what we can’t seem to wrap our heads around as that this is just a snippet of someone’s life. One photo – one moment, and all of a sudden we think we know that person and everything there is to know about them.
Today I’ve decided to be honest with myself and you all, and share some of the photos that appear on my Instagram where all wasn’t as it seemed to be.
May 2015 – From the outside, I am smiling, happy as fucking Larry. The caption says it all, I’m ready to go and have a great time at a friend’s wedding and I can’t wait. But oh how the opposite is true. On this day I was sad, I was upset, I was angry and above all I was lonely – and I can tell you now that this day ended in disaster – which then left me crying with my sisters for a solid day, until there were literally no tears left.
Doesn’t really match up to the photo does it?
Ah – the typical “I’m ready to get fucked up holiday photo”
The harsh truth is, this was probably the worst time in my life – both mentally and emotionally. I had no idea who I was and I had lost all identity of myself. The reason I remember taking this shameless selfie on my own is because I was in fact on my own. My friends hadn’t returned to the room, because they were out in true Benidorm fashion getting pissed. And I had spent all day in my hotel room, crying on and off and trying to figure out the exact reason of why I was crying and how I would stop.
In this photo, I was away on a mini break with my family. I think my mum and dad just wanted to get me away for a few days to clear my head. The unfortunate thing is it doesn’t matter where you are in the world, the issues you’re facing just tag along with you. While I enjoyed the sand and the sea and catching up with my family who live down South, I was a shadow of my former self, and in all honesty I don’t remember much about that so called break at all.
Bonfire Night, in 2014 I’m sure.
Although I’m pictured with my favourite little man, I wasn’t quite myself. My life was heading down the wrong road and I seemed to be the only one around watching it go down the pan. I was lonely, I was stressed and I was probably also drinking too much at the particular time as well – never a good combination. I don’t remember much from 2014 – all I remember is it being a dark time in my life – and it’s a darkness I never want to return to.
Ireland – 2016
Back to my Dad’s hometown of Donegal for a family wedding.
A time to have a catch up with all my relatives who I don’t get to see much of, a time to take a trip back down memory lane with my Dad and him show us where he grew up (as he does every time we go)
But it was also the first time attending a big family occasion as a lone ranger, it was also the first time I had been to a wedding and reminded of the vows ‘till death do us part’ after my own marriage had failed. The proud and happy faces of onlookers as they watched two people tie the knot.
The feelings hit me like a freight train.
Confused, anxious, depressed and disappointed in myself were the feelings running through my body as this photo was taken.
Not every photo we post on Instagram has a sad tale behind it. There are some photos of complete joy and happiness on my profile. Photos I couldn’t wait to share with my social media family.
They say a picture paints a thousand words, but what if those words are wrong?
What if you’ve assumed wrong?
These past few years have taught me never to take things at face value. And I will never look at someone else’s social media profile and assume I know it all, because I don’t. I’ve caught a glimpse, a snippet – nothing substantial for me to judge upon.
And in all honesty it’s none of my god damn business.
So here is a picture for now…
It does not yet appear on my Instagram feed but when it does the caption will be…
Because I truly am.
So go forth my social media family, glance differently at the photos you see today from your fellow peers on your Instagram feed, because things might not always be as they seem.
Remember; Be Kind – For everyone you meet might be fighting a battle you know nothing about.
#NOJUDGEMENT #HAVECOURAGE #BEKIND
Love Always, Sophie x